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doucheband 

A headband that is worn across the forehead, labeling the wearer as a supreme douchebag. They serve no legitimate purpose, other than letting passersby know that they listen to indie and/or emo music and shop at Urban Outfitters.
My forehead feels naked without my doucheband.
doucheband by LittleNepatiz March 17, 2009

doucheband 

a hardcore/ screamo band full of gay scene douche bags.
ZOMG did you go to lifeSPOT and see defending the pilot?!?!

NO, that is a doucheband.

EX-DOUCHEBAND 

A man you married because you loved him and thought he loved you back. Until he suffered a mid-life crisis and met someone cuter, skinnier, richer or hornier and decides to dump you off in another state without support, cuts off your alimony and sleeps with your best friend on the down low.
Sophia "Hey girl, why you lookin so depressed the last few months? Come out dancinggg with us!!"

Heather "OMG Sophie, IDK..I wish I could afford it, but working these 3 jobs has got me exhausted..."

Sophia "Girrrrl....this is all cause of your EX-DOUCHEBAND Remind me never to get married..."
EX-DOUCHEBAND by ChristyLeeHughes August 14, 2010

President Douchebag 

If the all Toothless Morons in the Midwest and Cretins in the Florida Panhandle didn’t believe the Russian state sponsored Propaganda flooded onto social media, we would have never elected President Douchebag; that is why they all have a garage full of products from Ronco like Popeil's Pocket Fisherman.

schrodinger’s douchebag 

One who makes douchebag statements, particularly sexist, racist or otherwise bigoted ones, then decides whether they were “just joking” or dead serious based on whether other people in the group approve or not.
"Oh man women should just stay in the kitchen, it's the only place they're useful"
*with one group* "Haha just kidding, that's sexist"
*with anther* "lol amirite"
"You're a total schrodinger’s douchebag you know that right?"

douchebag febreeze 

When a douchebag gets ready for an evening out on the town he wants to smell his freshest. Nothing in his arsenal of body sprays, lotions, colognes, deodorants and the like are as important as his "douchebag febreeze", aka AXE BODY SPRAY. A douchebag will thoroughly saturate themself with their AXE BODY SPRAY; they cannot use a normal amount, as they don't think it will be enough to keep them fresh throughout the evening. This is to be applied right before walking out the door, as the smell needs to be as strong as possible for interaction with the ladies. If ever you find yourself getting a whiff of what smell like hugh hefners balls dipped in kerosene, watch out; there is a douchebag on the prowl. Run, fast and far.
brad--i need to smell fresh tonight bro

tj--use my axe body spray broski, there's half a bottle left, is that enough?

brad--i guess it will have to be brah spray my swoled up muscles down

brad & tj--(fist pumping) fresh to death!!!

-brad & tj walk into club-

sara--mmm do i smell douchebag febreeze? that's my kind of guy!!