douchebank

A male who expresses his feelings in closed quarters through poetry, crying, and the like, but in social situations must act like a manly man in order not to become ostracized.

Chris: I'll pwn your ass (the group laughs)

Jon Ray: Don't you have any cock sucking to do you dirty douchebank?

(Later that night Chris will reflect on this situation and express his feeling artistically, whether it would be in the shape of a poem or writing a song)

by Kevin M from Southie February 27, 2007

President Douchebag

Donald J. Trump

If the all Toothless Morons in the Midwest and Cretins in the Florida Panhandle didn’t believe the Russian state sponsored Propaganda flooded onto social media, we would have never elected President Douchebag; that is why they all have a garage full of products from Ronco like Popeil's Pocket Fisherman.

by napalona zając January 7, 2017

schrodinger’s douchebag

One who makes douchebag statements, particularly sexist, racist or otherwise bigoted ones, then decides whether they were “just joking” or dead serious based on whether other people in the group approve or not.

"Oh man women should just stay in the kitchen, it's the only place they're useful"
*with one group* "Haha just kidding, that's sexist"
*with anther* "lol amirite"
"You're a total schrodinger’s douchebag you know that right?"

by theoriginalspike October 23, 2013

douchebag febreeze

When a douchebag gets ready for an evening out on the town he wants to smell his freshest. Nothing in his arsenal of body sprays, lotions, colognes, deodorants and the like are as important as his "douchebag febreeze", aka AXE BODY SPRAY. A douchebag will thoroughly saturate themself with their AXE BODY SPRAY; they cannot use a normal amount, as they don't think it will be enough to keep them fresh throughout the evening. This is to be applied right before walking out the door, as the smell needs to be as strong as possible for interaction with the ladies. If ever you find yourself getting a whiff of what smell like hugh hefners balls dipped in kerosene, watch out; there is a douchebag on the prowl. Run, fast and far.

brad--i need to smell fresh tonight bro

tj--use my axe body spray broski, there's half a bottle left, is that enough?

brad--i guess it will have to be brah spray my swoled up muscles down

brad & tj--(fist pumping) fresh to death!!!

-brad & tj walk into club-

sara--mmm do i smell douchebag febreeze? that's my kind of guy!!

by the stank pit January 13, 2013

douchebag tell

An act or attribute that signals to others that someone is a douchebag; mark of a douchebag.

The first known use of this phrase was by Taran G, Atlanta, GA, March, 2010

Liking your own Facebook status is a douchebag tell.

by jacandy July 22, 2010

douchebag casting call

When a needy & pathetic girl posts/tweets her desperation for a boyfriend. Usually getting the attention of every douchebag who's able to read it, knowing they'll need little to no effort to get her, keep her, and treat her as crappy as they want.

Post: "I really wish I just had someone to be by my side. I'm so tired of being alone. Why doesn't anyone out there want me?"
Reply: "You know damn well that's a douchebag casting call. Now every asswipe is gonna come running to treat you like crap."

by Raixor November 24, 2013

shrödinger's douchebag

shrödinger's douchebag is someone who will say something controversial, or rude and wait to see their reaction.

The shrödinger's douchebag will then stay with their Statment, or say "it's just a joke" After getting a bad response.

shrödinger's douchebag: Stacy is a fucking whore, I can't believe her.

Guy #1: Dude, what the hell?

shrödinger's douchebag: It's just a joke! Don't take it seriously!!

by pancreas_Stabber_69 March 17, 2020