dicktard Share definition Flag A combination dick/ retard. that is to say that not only is the guy a complete moron, but he's also a flat-out asshole. Man, David Spade is such a total dicktard, i bet he likes a nice hot carl. dicktard by InSoMnIaK July 20, 2003 0 0 Get merch Get the dicktard mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch