A friendly competition in which several males compare phalluses. The judge is typically a female with experience evaluating the male anatomy.
by bigdickbandit February 22, 2008
an ego laden interaction usually (although not always) involving men where each individual tries to out do the the other in knowledge and or acheivements. Often seen in corporate settings and family get-togethers
Fuck me! That was a waste of time. I actually thought we could get something done at this meeting. Instead it turned into a Dick Swinging Contest!
by Mr Jameson October 23, 2010
by Mistressbaby November 5, 2021
any exchange in which opposing parties will carry out brazen competitive acts purely based on the idea that self-fulfillment will be derived from the intensity of the sound produced when they allow the underside of their dick to drop onto a cold, granite countertop (i.e. a thwack). The louder the thwack, the more intrinsically valuable that person is to the world.
Kline keeps donating money to organizations to have buildings named after himself, and Specter reacts by donating more himself, to place his name on more buildings. It's a giant-ass dick thwacking contest.
The cold war was effectively a dick thwacking contest between the US and Russia.
The cold war was effectively a dick thwacking contest between the US and Russia.
by big_dick_ben December 4, 2018
A conflict in which two parties (ususally male) are vehemently disputing something of limited relevance. Generally, both parties are somewhat wrong, but each refuses to be back down for fear of being thought the have the smaller of their two penises. Similar to a pissing match, but generally, the conflict involved involves a larger element of machismo, and continues on only because neither side wants to be seen as the one who backs down.
The White House and the Conservative Right have been in a real dick measuring contest over the qualifications of this new Supreme Court apointee, Harriet Meiers.
by Cosmo October 12, 2005
An activity that usually involves two people who dispute their superiority to the other. This is accomplished by the recitation of individual skills, exploits and accomplishments whose merit is questionable at best. Also, the purpose of discussing said activities serves no purpose but to prove superiority to the other.
Jack and John debated for 3 hours who had the most money, girlfriends, best car, etc. It was really just a dick waving contest that made me sick.
by J. Malik April 15, 2006
Any event where males try to prove their worth by comparing their (often irrelevant) possessions/attributes, especially when size is involved. Good examples are the comparisons of engine or salary sizes. This meaning originates from the idea that he whose penis is larger is superior; primitive males would 'waggle their dicks' to show whose was bigger.
Reporter: President Johnson, why are we still fighting the war in Vietnam?
LBJ: (unzips his fly, draws out his substantial organ): This is why!
Onlooker 1: Dude, that guy just whipped it out like LBJ! It's like the whole war is just a big dick waggling contest!
Onlooker 2: That IS LBJ, fool.
LBJ: (unzips his fly, draws out his substantial organ): This is why!
Onlooker 1: Dude, that guy just whipped it out like LBJ! It's like the whole war is just a big dick waggling contest!
Onlooker 2: That IS LBJ, fool.
by Benny Singles November 13, 2007