defecal

A defecal is a plumbing fixture used for collecting & then disposing of defecation (poop). It is a portmanteau of the words, "defecate" and, "urinal".

The defecal is a bit like a urinal -- only the defecal is used solely for taking a plop. If you piss into a defecal, it will require maintanence -- much as a urinal would if you drop a deuce into it.

Hey James, this defecal is fucked up; some true-blue total asshaberdasher must have pissed into it! Any idea where another one is cause I really have to leave a shit!

by Telephony November 22, 2016

Faux Defecation

When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.

(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation

by gingyman January 9, 2010

anti-defecation league

An organization dedicated to protecting non-terrorists who find themselves on government shit-lists.

Now that I have unfairly been added to a gubmint shit-list, the only place I can look for help from is the Anti-Defecation League.

by LaughingAloud August 18, 2017

Defecate deficit

Constipated or bunged up.

'Dude, this defecate deficit is still going strong- I've eaten a kilo of prunes and still no joy. The poor toilet is going to look like Hiroshima when it does finally come. Desperate times require desperate measures so I'm thinking I probably need to gouge it out with a long narrow implement. That reminds me, you should buy a new toothbrush..'

by Anonymous submissions January 4, 2017

Defecacy

1. An awful meal.
2. A food that literally tastes fecal.
3. A complex dish made with painstaking care but has catastrophically disappointing flavor.
4. Absolutely not a delicacy

The term is used so as not to offend the cook. Polite society tells us that it is rude to be brutally honest when asked how enjoyable a particular meal was. Polite society also tells us it is rude to correct someone's mispronounciation of a word. So, while you said "defecacy," he or she will think you meant "delicacy" but will be too polite to correct you. You can be honest say the meal tasted like a shit but the cook will believe you loved it. Everybody wins.

Q: "...So, did you like the chocolate-marshmallow & cheese meatloaf I made special just for you?"

A: "Uh - yeah, it was a real defecacy."

by JEUNT November 11, 2009

toliet tank defecator

Somebody who intentionally shits in the cistern (toliet tank).

You don't want to invite Tom to the kegger, because he is a habitual toliet tank defecator!

by Telephony January 4, 2011

defecate

Daily ritual of emptying ones bowels.

NOTE: Should only ever be performed on company time.

Dad always taught me ....."make sure you're always paid to defecate son"

poop

by fretbuzz August 30, 2016