crotchtower 

A crotchtower is a male's erect penis in pants; implies acute awareness of surroundings. "All along the crotchtower, princes kept their view while the women came and went"

"She's hot. I have a crotchtower."

crotchtower by The Red Bohemian April 20, 2016

crotchtery 

Crabby, grumpy . Grouchy . Crusty

I tried to reason with him but he was so crotchtery that I walked away ..

crotchtery by Memaloca July 4, 2016