The cockness monster attacked my dick while I was watching the Vikings beat the Packers, drinking a 40 of O.E., and shitting out the nachos I ate earlier
A large serpent bearing resemblance to a penis, often depicted swimming. Commonly drawn in school related materials by more "creative" male classmates. First recorded sighting in a homework planner in 2013.
Student 1: "What the hell is that in my book? Does it have a scrotum for a tail?"
Student 2: "It's just a drawing of the Cockness Monster."