Has a Horse Cock. Wants to kill himself. He has mild autism and multiple personality disorders. Christian Hill is living in a lie. Everything he does is faked by his persona and everything he feels is misguided by his inability to understand his emotions. He will probably join the Marine Corps and regret it.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.