Originally a military strategy, the Chowder Cow is a sexual act in which two sweaty obese men super-glued in the 69 position are thrown from a helicopter into a tornado while experiencing simultaneous projectile diarrhea and fellating one another. Each man's left thumb is deeply inserted into the other's anus, resulting in two powerful cone-shaped fountains of liquid feces spraying in opposite directions as the spiraling, wet mound of rippling fat and human excrement violently plummet towards earth, ending in a massive eruption of flesh, bones, organs, and various bodily fluids vaguely resembling a mixture of clam chowder and ground beef. If both men experience an Alaskan Firedragon at the exact moment they come in contact with the ground, it is known as a Chowder Dragon.
Me: "It appears as if a Chowder Cow is headed in our direction."
What happens after having unprotected anal intercourse with a man with a tiny penis. The ejaculate doesn't get past the Anus Hotel lobby (so to speak) and coagulates very close to the one and only exit; occasionally causing a bloated feeling or general lower GI discomfort.
After they found him half naked with his scout master in the closet, he ran to that restroom so fast you just knew he was clenching chowder.