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butthurticitis

Butthurticitis (but-her-tih-si-tis), a life-ending pandemic targeting the central nervous system. Most commonly found amongst Armenians, but can also be found within Kurds, Assyrians, Greeks, Bulgarians, amongst others. It is a two stage disease that is spread through coming into conflict with Turks.

In the initial stage, or most commonly called "the conflict phase", the patient experiences violent movements, uncontrolled excitement, shock, confusion, possibly loss of consciousness, and likely to ultimately result in death.

In the second stage, often called "genocide recognition phase", the survivors are left with an incurable case of Butthurticitis. The severity of the contamination may vary from case to case. The time period between contracting the disease and the start of symptoms is usually between one month to several years. The patient feels Turcophobia, anxiety, insomnia, confusion, agitation, abnormal behavior, anti-social tendencies, paranoia, terror, and hallucinations progressing to delirium. Patients tend to believe that another conflict with Turks may alleviate the symptoms resulting from the initial conflict. Patients hallucinate "genocide" where none existed, and seek to sow discord between Turks and the uninfected populace which may lead to more cases of Butthurticitis.
Johnny: Tigran was protesting in front of the Turkish embassy.
George: Yeah I know, he has a severe case of butthurticitis.
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