When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your
grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you'
re talking about, so you run out to the garage and
dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped
piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap
Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really
hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE
FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the
fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the
fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "
Bullshit."
You: "
ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap
sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy
head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our
house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"