bum crumpet 

A toastable anally administered hot snack

"Has someone toasted a bum crumpet ?"

bum crumpet by GM March 25, 2003

Crumpet bum

Slang used for someone with celulite on their bum, it gives the effect of a crumpet! Also a built up residue of anal crap due to lack of ass wiping abilities

Lad: holly hell look at that crumpet bum over there! She aint been ass wiping

Crumpet bum by Jollyrodgerey November 6, 2014

Bum Crumpets 

Larger than standard dry poo chunks that stick to your anus hairs when you do not wipe properly

My arse is full of bum crumpets because the toilet paper was like tracing paper and i was too scared to wipe properly

Bum Crumpets by SQUEELYBUM May 27, 2017