birds and the bees

girl: Daddy, how are babies made?
Father: Daddy plants a seed in mummys' tummy
girl: Does she swallow the seed?
father: Only if she wants a new dress

small boy: What is a masturbation?
teacher: That's a mouthfull for someone of your age
small boy: No, a mouthfulls a blow job.

birds and the bees by kung-fu jesus September 10, 2004

Get merch

birds and the bees

According to tradition, the birds and the bees is a metaphorical story sometimes told to children in an attempt to explain the mechanics and consequence of sexual intercourse. According to that story the birds are like men and the bees like women: Birds are free to fly wherever they like, but bees are enslaved to a single queen their entire life and their whole life is dedicated to keeping her alive. Bees pollinate flowers, birds spread the seed, men impregnate eggs, women give birth. Sex is key for survival of both.

let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees

birds and the bees by jenn is tiight October 5, 2008

Get merch

Birds and the bees

1)The talk that a parent (usually a mother) gives her daughter/son on the night of their first date, containing safe sex, or abstinence. The whole point of the 'birds and bees' is to convince you NOT to have sex.

2)The most annoying talk in the world.

1) Mom- Honey, we need to talk.
Daughter- Mom, I DON'T want the 'birds and the bees' talk.
Mom- But you need to know not to have sex. You could get pregnant and die!
Daughter- We're JUST going to a friend's house for a small get-together.
Mom- Are there going to be a lot of boys there?
Daughter- No Mom, it's a nun club.

Birds and the bees by DanielleTheNonVirgin August 19, 2006

Get merch

Birds and The Bees

When a parent or guardian thinks you're old enough to get 'the talk', so they tell you that it's time to talk about the birds and the bees.

Most of the time, it's the worst talk ever. Like, ever.

Mum: Honey, time to talk.
Boy: About what?
Mum: About the birds and the bees, honey.
Boy: *screams and runs* I'M TOO YOUNG TO KNOW!!

Birds and The Bees by It'sCakeAtStake March 19, 2019