Dick: What in the hell was that?
Jane: It was a barking turtle.
Dick: Pee-yooo...

Or, alternatively,

Dick: I think someone just broke into the house.
Jane: No, it was just my turle barking.
Dick: Pee-yooo...

Disgraced attorney Rudy Giuliani’s face became drenched in sweat and hair dye as he invented evidence of widespread voter fraud during President Trump’s clown coup.

I hurried to the bathroom to release my barking turtle back into the pond.