baldness 

Baldness is when you have no hair and your head looks very much like an egg.

David- "Hey, that's an egg!"
Ron- "No, thats a guy who suffers from baldness!"

baldness by Ordem July 13, 2015

Baldness 

What max is and has.

Usually means no hair and is a comical joke.

Me: max stop being so bald.
Max: no I can't I'm the best HBG PLAYER.
Me: No that's just your baldness

Baldness by Tokyosdomain June 28, 2025

male pattern baldness 

When your hairline has taken too many L's, and recedes away into nothingness entirely.

Male Pattern Baldness is common in adult males over the age of thirty or so.

male pattern baldness by SagelyPerson September 30, 2015

Glass Pattern Baldness 

Premature balding found in test tube babies.

I went to the doctor and discovered that not only was I a test tube baby, but that this would cause me to develop glass pattern baldness by the time I am 23.

Glass Pattern Baldness by itsthatbradguy July 13, 2010

Optional Baldness 

A man/woman who shaves their head as a OPTION
Ewwww, baldness thats optional... like if your dying it's okay but as an option when you have healthy hair? EWWW!!!

"Skye dosen't respect optional baldness"
"Joshua like to make fun of optional baldness"

Optional Baldness by J-man1990 June 4, 2008

Gigolo Pattern Baldness 

When a man with prolific body hair shaves his pubes, and only his pubes leaving a hairless patch localized around his genitalia whilst remaining otherwise hirsute.

I shaved off my short-curlies, now it looks like I've got Gigolo Pattern Baldness!

Gigolo Pattern Baldness by Bubert Samson May 1, 2013

Floating Baldness 

Floating baldness is a rare type of male pattern baldness where the victim's hair grows wings and flies away.

I suffer from floating baldness

Floating Baldness by George Cremaster January 27, 2025