Asshole Meter

The asshole meter is a way that you can rate yourself to find out if you are a complete and utter asshole. The meter goes like this.

Level 1: Jerk, probably where most people fall on this list, they're generally nice people but at times can be a bit of a dickhead.

Level 2: Dick, this is the guy who you see calling girls "his bitches" and trying to get on every girl he sees.

Level 3: Douchebag, popped collar, hair gelled, sunglasses at night, you know the deal.

Level 4: Asshole, if you rate here, then you probably don't have many friends, you're an asshole all the time, you're that guy who scream at the drive through worker for ten minutes for forgetting the straw, or the guy who would literally steal candy from a baby.

Girl 1: I think I might like Joe.

Girl 2: Really he is such a douche on the asshole meter.

Girl 1: Really I only thought he was a dick?

Girl 2: Look at the collar! And it's ten o'clock at night, why the hell is he wearing sunglasses?

Asshole Meter by ProjectACR May 13, 2011

Assholometer 

A mathematical tool used for measuring the level of asshole acts.

1-3 = Completes two acts a week that warrent the "asshole" response.
4-6 = One act a day that warrants an "asshole" response.
6-10= Behaves every waking hour as an asshole.

"He's a 9 on the assholometer"

Assholometer by phantom2012 November 9, 2012

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.

I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.

schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008