armchair commando 

Somebody who collects weapons, usually knives, guns, and swords, and talks a lot about warfare, violence and the the like. Has never actually fought in a war, or been in the military, but loves the two subjects. Fantasizes about being a navy SEAL or a federal agent. Usually a giant pussy when the shit actually hits the fan.

Greg: "Aw man, I wanna be a Navy SEAL soooo bad. Because they have the biggest variety of weapons to choose from. I just bought a shotgun with a pistol grip, so I'm already in training."

Kyle: "I'm gonna punch you in the face you armchair commando."

Greg: "Please don't! What did I do! No, stop! I'm sorry!"

armchair commando by Lupara2012 July 29, 2012

armchair commando 

If a nerd isnt any of the following:
internet gangster
troll
copycat
poser
dickhead
etc
he is an...
ARMCHAIR COMMANDO!

An armchair commando is a lowlife nerd kid who sits at home shows off his military knowledge and argues about anything that has to do with military and politics involving military and pretends to know more than scientists do about ballistics, measurements, Parts of a weapon and more...
They quickly search through forums, wikipedias for more info and come to their own conclusion or most of the time copy and paste a paragraph from wikipedia

guy1: "m16s are cool thanx to the bullets they use!"
Armchair commando: "NO YOU DOUCHEBAG the m16 was developed BEFORE vietnam war and it uses the 5.56x45 milimeter round which travels around 3000 feet per second and the round disintegrates as soon as it hits rough surface....bla...bla.....bla....making the M16 AWESOME!.."
guy1: "duh thats pretty much what i said

armchair commando by aJork July 3, 2009

armchair commander 

When your in real life in a REAL situation playing a game usually airsoft or paintball and the 13 year old behind you attempts to use his "experience" which extends no far than Call of Duty 4 to lead the way like hes hot shit or something, literally the guy that could be with 12 Airborne Rangers and would say "guys Ive done this before" and try's to lead the way. Usually results in him being wrecked terribly in which case he blames it all on his team.

armchair commander example:

armchair commander: guys I got this down don't you worry about me
*12 other ex-military guys with 15+ years of experience*: But that would get us all killed....
armchair commander: no listen to me I'm going to go up follow my lead
mil guys: ok we will be right behind you *quiet* ditch this armchair commander, hes so chairborne I can hear the game control squeak.

armchair commander by rower200 May 23, 2009