Woodward's Rule 

Woodward's Rule, named after famed, Tampa trial attorney Timothy D. Woodward (where the "D" stands for "Drink, Drank, Drunk"), is the rule by which an alcohol-consumption, mathematical constant is defined. The constant represents the maximum rate at which bourbon or whiskey can be consumed before the consumer's blood alcohol level reaches a critical level. The constant is stated as a function of time and as a derivative of both body weight and the number of 750 mL bottles of bourbon which the consumer has emptied in the past 180 days.

When the bartender invoked the Woodward's Rule, Eric Page became belligerent when we was informed that he could only have 12 Bulleits in a 45 minute window. Page screamed, "Damn that Woodward's Rule! Foiled again. Weigh me again. You got my "weight-to-empty-bottle ratio" wrong. There is no way that I only weigh 175. I have been kickboxing at 5:00 a.m. every morning for 11 years. Muscle weighs more than fat."

Woodward's Rule by eRockTampa September 26, 2018