Wet Duck

Wet Duck: (Basic: An item one wants that's unreasonably stupid) 1: A mythical swimming bird, supposedly of the Anatidae specie who’s plumage, unlike the plumage of all known and classified duck subspecies, can actually absorb and retain water. This alleged characteristic would preclude a true duck’s natural buoyancy, rendering the bird unable to swim and, therefore making it useless as a duck. To enable full and true performance, all ducks are made with the ability to remain dry even in a driving rain, (i.e., “water off a duck’s back”). Therefore, one cannot acquire a wet duck. They are not made. 2: Any component, material or feature thereof with a specification which is unreasonable, because: A) it cannot be acquired. B) If it can possibly be acquired, said component or material will be of extraordinary expense and/or require an extraordinary lead time, usually both, and thus compromising the schedule and budget of a project. C) Any material item that a person wants that is simply not available.
Typical usage: To describe something that an engineer wants to put into his design that is not available on the planet. He is usually obstinate in refusing to accept rational arguments otherwise. Female engineers do not typically share this character flaw with their male counterparts.

Gregory insists he must have a hydrogen fuel cell powered vibrator for his girlfriend, so as to save on AA-battery costs. It's not the first wet duck he's tried to find. He must be an engineer.

Wet Duck by Traveling Mule November 11, 2005