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Wellsie

Derived from the activities of loudmouthed, cockney, sexist, racist, tactless, west ham loving alcoholic.

Often seen masquerading himself as a sales exec and with delusions of management skills.

Someone prone to extended periods of absence from place of employment followed by highly creative excuses. Usually after payday or westham games.
To pull a Wellsie.
Wait until pay day. Ideally close to a West Ham game.
Get totally blotto and maybe get into a fight.
Dont phone in sick the first day. Instead use this time to think of an ellaborate excuse to use on your glorious return to work.
by John Hipkiss July 12, 2006
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Wellsian Tortilla

Wellsian Tortillas are a unique brand of tortillas made in the Lakewood/Steilacoom region of Washington, specifically in the vicinity of Fort Lewis. Wellsian Tortillas are known for their blandly absurd taste - and for having a penchant for always being around when least expected (i.e. in the middle of a class or briefing, it is not unusual for a Wellsian Tortilla to come flying out of the back of the room to unanimous dissatisfaction). Historically, Wellsian Tortillas originated in 2008 on the United States Army base called Fort Lewis.

Preparation
Wellsian Tortillas take little preparation or forethought in creation and are typically the result of an ill-thought out attempt at humor or as a illogical retort. On rare occasions, Wellsian Tortillas defy their aforementioned blandness and absurdity and can bear a faintly (stress faintly) humorous aftertaste. This taste is usually not prolonged and tends to fade within a few minutes - not unlike the symptoms of Salvia use or joke degradation (the phenomenon of fading joke appeal over repeated tellings).

To prepare your own Wellsian Tortillas, the following ingredients are required:

* Absurd amounts of movie (and/or) pop-culture familiarity. "Absurd amounts" being attributable to the often-time inability to control one's reference and/or vocalizing of an inane movie/pop-culture reference (usually at inappropriate times).

* Child-like innocence naivety, usually used as a complement to actions that in other people would border on the levels of mental instability/underdevelopment.

* An unwitting audience.

* An easy bake oven (a mouth often doubles as a field-expedient easy bake oven.

Side Effects
Wellsian Tortillas should be created and consumed sparingly. Overcreation/overconsumption of Wellsian Tortillas can result in painful side-effects including hysteria, momentary blindness, momentary muteness or deafness, wide spread panic, delusions of grandeur, homicidal rage, unnecessary impersonations, and dementia. Safe recommended doses are somewhere between 0 and 1 ingestions annually.

If you believe you have consumed or created a Wellsian Tortilla consult your doctor (i.e. the nearest suicidal instrument).

If all else fails SLING PIGEON.
Man... that Wellsian Tortilla tastes like shit.
by Specialist Demotable B June 24, 2009
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Related Words

Slag Wellies

Ugg Boots. Footwear sported by slack-fannied chav birds with more money than dress-sense. Also known as Slut Slippers, Chav Clogs.
Yeah Kelsey, he banged me so hard up against that bus shelter, I nealy dropped me meat pie over me new Slag Wellies.
by Devastating 'D' March 19, 2010
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kirk wellsian

An act that can be characterized as pervy and/or completely over the top and unnecessary (usually at the detriment of whatever you're supposed to be doing at the time).
Your decision to knit 500 sweaters and photograph adolescent girls instead of attending the mandatory meeting was very Kirk Wellsian.
by Tsika January 19, 2008
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wellie

Buproprion (the brand name for which is Wellbutrin) being abused by crushing up, and insufflated, causing feelings of euphoria, and, in large doses, hallucinations and delusions.
I just got my prescription for Wellbutrin filled! Let's do some wellies!
by cmo999 June 19, 2011
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wellied

'bloody hell i got so wellied last night i made love to a letterbox!'
by sharonmoore September 18, 2008
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Drinking wellies

Standard equipment required when one will be partaking in a serious drinking session and will literally be knee-deep in alcohol.
Hey Phili, don't forget your drinking wellies for V Festival!
by Johnny Weasel August 15, 2012
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