Un Aire 

A Spanish word for a medical condition that does not really exist. Roughly translated to English, "un aire" is "an air." Un Aire is used to describe a strange sensation felt in the epigastric, abdominal or chest area. The sensation is characterized by a a general bitching and whining about a gas like feeling in the aforementioned torso region. Un aire a chronic condition in little old ladies and women. In men, un aire is an indication of sever chernitis in men brought on by a lack of testicular fortitude. If not treated with a C.O.M. (can of man) or a bitch slap across the face, un aire may escalate into coñogenic shock. At this point, their is no cure and a man deteriorates into a nagging old lady; old ladies or women are too far gone and estrogen takes over their sensibilities.

911 Dispatch: 911, what is your emergency?

Patient: (In a desperate and terrified voice) HELP, I'm dying, I can't breath, I have terrible chest pain, it hurts all over, I'M DYING!!!!

911 Dispatch: Rescue is on the way, please try and calm down, we will make sure that you get through this and you will be okay.

Patient: AHHHHHHHHHH, I'M DYYYYYYYYYINNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!

Rescue crew: (Mere moments later) Sir, we are here to save your life, what do you feel?

Patient: Oh I don't know, it's not pain, it's un aire...it's going away though.

Rescue crew: Umm, like gas?

Patient: Well, yeah, kind of, but it's not gas...it's un aire...

Un Aire by Mr Bear 1015 December 20, 2012