Umbilical Tetherball 

An unconventional method of deciding whether your newborn will have an innie or outie belly button. After the baby is delivered, the doctor asks the mother to stand up in the middle of the room. He gathers his nurses around the mother, and 'serves' the bay like a tennis ball.

It differs from conventional tetherball in that the object of the game is not for either team to wrap the ball around the pole (or in our case, the baby around the mother) a certain number of times in their respective direction, but rather to be the one with the hit that induces the breaking of the umbilical cord.

Since the purpose of the game is to leave to form of the belly button up to chance, the doctor does not cut the umbilical cord down shorter after it has broken, no matter how long it is.

Our lawyers recommend not to play next to windows. While baby's bones are made of cartilage, a high enough velocity can still shatter a window, causing hundreds of dollars in damage. Health care in America is expensive enough as it is; having to pay extra for a delivery in order to compensate for the damages would be a tragedy for a family. (See also: ObamaCare.)

Person 1: My parents had the doctors play Umbilical Tetherball with me.
Person 2: Oh, cool! *Lifts up P1's shirt* So, you're an Aquarius from 1994!
P1: It's not as cool as it sounds. The game ended with an I.V. lodged in my frontal lobe.
P2: Yeah. But at least you didn't break any windows.
P1: I'm literally unable to wipe my own ass.

Umbilical Tetherball by Philonoesis July 4, 2016

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.

I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.

schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.

"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."

eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016

Stroad

Noun. Portmanteau of "street" and "road": it describes a street, er, road, built for high speed, but with multiple access points. Excessive width is a common feature. A common feature in suburbia, especially along commercial strips. Unsafe at any speed, their extreme width and straightness paradoxically induces speeding. Somewhat more neutral than synonymous traffic sewer.

Did you see what the traffic engineers want to do to our street? They're going to turn it into a total stroad!

Stroad by hammersklavier February 21, 2012