A state of suffering on the toilet during repetitive, violent and malodorous bowel evacuations.
Bob regretted eating that suspicious looking pork sausage the night before because he was now sitting in turdgatory, trying not to gag on his poo fumes or wince at his poorly rectum that now probably resembled the Eye of Sauron.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'