Toilet Paper

The extinct tissue that early civilizations used to cleanse their rectums after defacation.
"Toilet Paper has been nowhere to be seen since the coronavirus raid of 2020."
by Cheek_Clapper March 22, 2020
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Toilet Paper

The most wanted thing during Coronavirus disease
Where can I buy Toilet Paper? Nowhere, there is no one
by DankWarrior703 March 21, 2020
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Toilet Paper

A material most often used to wipe one's anus clean of fecal matter, generally after one uses a restroom. Can be used for other purposes as well, almost all of which involve a liquid mess that needs to be removed through absorption. A common misconception is that toilet paper is sold on cardboard rolls. The material most people are thinking of in this case is in fact just smaller paper towels. Despite having identical functions to toilet paper, there is a clear distinction: Small paper towels are sold on rolls, toilet paper is sold in four volumes, each with the appearance of a regular book. And on each page of toilet paper can be found many words that were written by Stephanie Meyer.

The words are ignored by most and toilet paper is used for its intended purpose. Some have attempted to read them, though doing so is strongly advised against; no contributions to literature in any form are present. A group of the people who have read the words have developed an obsession with not only reading toilet paper, but with it's empty shells which they believe are characters. They can be witnessed arguing over which of these would make a more desirable boyfriend in real life, and for the other empty shells featured in toilet paper.

The people who do this are best dealt with through tolerance. They probably won't go away for a while. Just keep using it to wipe your ass, because it's much better for that than for reading.
Jimmy: Mom, can you hand me some toilet paper through the door? We ran out.

Mom: Sure Jimmy, will New Moon work?

Jimmy: I don't think that's enough, I'm probably gonna use up a whole Breaking Dawn after that crap.
by 20505person March 25, 2013
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Toilet Paper

A precious commodity rumored to have healing abilities, especially for the flue. Toilet paper is a rarity that few would ever see.
Person 1: "Coronavirus is spreading! What do we do?"
Person 2: "Quick! We need to go to Woolies and buy some toilet paper!"
by The_not_famous_Clinton March 09, 2020
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Toilet Paper

1. This is the shit ticket that your toilet eats
2. Once you go brown you flush it down
Is recycled toilet paper supposed to come in a tinted shade?
by Scotty Tissue November 13, 2010
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Toilet Paper

1. A paper substance with no significant use other then to wipe one's feces expelling cavity.

2. Anything written by Stephanie Meyer or L. Ron Hubbard.
Matt: "Would you like my copy of What Is Scientology?"
Trey: "Sure, I just ran out of toilet paper."
by ballzgalore May 06, 2015
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Toilet Paper

An item used to wipe your ass that became extinct in 2020.
Bob: Hey you got any toilet paper?
Mike: What the fuck is that?
Bob: ...
by PotatoChickenman March 22, 2020
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