I am in constant agony. My life is a mess. As a kid I had a natural aptitude for math and science, but I let it get to my head, ultimately ruining my possibility to go to college.
I wasted my life playing video games and watching the television; the natural talents I once had have apathied and worn away, leaving the one thing I was good at behind.
My life has been nothing but a fastly accelerating downward spiral and I have failed to provide anything of with to anyone.
Isaiah: Hey, Ed! Haven't seen you in a few years, how are you don't?
Me: I am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me.
Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.
"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).