old garden hose

a flacid old mans dick

he was limp, like the old garden hose

by brandonjoobies January 9, 2008

Muddy Garden Hose

When a man inserts his penis into a girls butt and she shits on his penis, then they both thrust together in a way that pushes the shit into the mans urethra. The man then urinates the shit out of his penis into the girls mouth while shes sucks it.

"I tried giving Ashley a muddy garden hose last night, but now it hurts when I pee and she wont talk to me anymore."

by Imperitus May 22, 2021

Edmonton Garden Hose

A story about an Edmonton man in his garden ramming a garden hose firmly and cleanly up his ass and turning on the hose literally filling his asscheeks with water as a form of ritual he saw online (4Chan) to get rid of his passionate and explosive homosexuality by "cleansing" his insides, however the ritual didn't work (obviously)and instead made him even more homosexual, now craves a different kind of hose with a different kind of liquid in his ass.

I just learned that JAMIE WAS THE MAN THAT DID Edmonton Garden Hose!!!!!!!

by Rionox February 27, 2023

chewed garden hose

The action of jamming needles, or similar objects, into you penis and then jacking off until climax. The semen then sprays out like a garden hose chewed by a dog.

I got tired of jacking off normally so I tried out the chewed garden hose, never felt anything better.

by Johnson and the juice crew November 7, 2017

Alabama garden hose

While getting a blowjob, you find you really need to pee. You suggest through body language that you're going to cum, but instead grab the back of their head and piss in their mouth.

My friend's mom was blowing me but I realized that she was ugly so I pulled out my Alabama Garden Hose.

by Uncle Screwj May 6, 2017

San Francisco garden hose

The act of pissing out the window of a moving car.

Fuck dude, I gotta piss but we're in the middle of nowhere and I don't wanna pull over.
It's fine man, just pull a San Francisco garden hose.

by Renguardo June 10, 2020

suck a golf ball through a garden hose

Vaguely homophobic insult, implying the guy being yelled at has great prowess and experience sucking dick

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do you suck dicks?

Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.

by zerglegacy February 26, 2017