Textile Dysfunction

When your cell phone's anticipatory word feature chooses random and often inappropriate substitutions for an otherwise innocuous text message.

I tried texting my crush about the party but my textile dysfunction asked him about his poopy instead :(

Textile Dysfunction by We Believe in Fridays July 29, 2009

Textile Dysfunction

Inability to maintain lasting performance in clothing, leading to social and psychological consequences. Mizzen+Main has cured thousands of men suffering from Textile Dysfuction in their dress shirts.

Side effects may include bloated self-esteem, excessive confidence, modeling contracts, adoration, winning at everything, and a higher sense of well-being.

Hey man, looks like you've got a bad case of Textile Dysfunction. In other words, you look like shit! Have you heard of Mizzen+Main? They've got a cure!

Textile Dysfunction by Money_Mike_ November 9, 2018

Texticle Dysfunction 

To have difficulties text messaging either due to a jacked up cell phone, network, or just plain sore fingers.

I couldnt text message any of my friends all day long. My phone was not sending any of my text messages. I had a serious case of texticle dysfunction.

Texticle Dysfunction by Railin' October 3, 2008

textil dysfunction

Much similar to erectile dysfunction except it only occurred over text

My boyfriend is no fun over text, it's like he has textil dysfunction or something

textil dysfunction by Jose Hernendes April 30, 2016

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022