telephone ear, telephone elbow, & telephone hand

After a long time on a regular house phone (not a cell phone), the ears, elbows, & hands get so tired from holding the phone they get sore.

That 5~hour phone call sure gave me telephone ear, telephone elbow, & telephone hand making them so very sore.

telephone ear, telephone elbow, & telephone hand by Starchylde May 29, 2016

Talking to God on the big white telephone

Being in such a paralytic state from the mass consumption of alcohol that when you reach the toilet you are usually slumped down hugging the bowl and screaming 'Oh God!' into the shit abyss in between violent bouts of upchuck.

Yeah man, got so wasted last night I ended up talking to God on the big white telephone!

Talking to God on the big white telephone by Top of the vomit August 26, 2009

pink telephone 

Used to describe female masturbation and orgasm as used in the phrase, "I dialed 'O' on the pink telephone."

I was so horny last night that I fired up my vibrator and dialed "O" on the pink telephone.

pink telephone by JohnstonGuy November 27, 2005

Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone 

The act of clinging to a toilet basin throwing up violently after a heavy night of binge drinking.

So named after the fashion of sticking your head into the bowl and shouting the name of our Lord between spasms.

BLEURGH!!! Oh Jesus, BLEEEHHRRRK!!! Oh Lord, BLOOOORGH!!!! Aw Christ, HUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRGH!!!!! etc

Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone by ..WiL May 24, 2005

Neon Telephone

When a famous musician writes a song for your band, but it's a terrible song — a la Prince's "Neon Telephone" for the Three O'Clock.

"I thought we'd be famous, but we got a Neon Telephone."

Neon Telephone by Mudd Flaps June 28, 2013

Touch Tone Telephone 

one of the greatest song ever and may as well be a love song

"cause you're the only person in the world who understands"
you can't tell me Touch Tone Telephone isn't gay

Touch Tone Telephone by raybeez May 15, 2022

telephone tag 

When two people end up having a conversation via voice mail, because neither persons are near the phone when it rings. This can be both fun and frustrating at the same time.

voice mail 1: "pick up the bloody phone! I need to talk to you."

voice mail 2: "About what?"

voice mail 3: "a bunch of us are going out friday night. Wanna come?"

voice mail 4: "Out where? I need specifics. I'm geting tired of playing telephone tag"

This can continue on for a while, and potentially fill up ones voice mail memory.

telephone tag by George Smiggins August 18, 2009