Store-Donkey
someone that defends the company they work for EVEN when it’s in the wrong, mostly used for employees who keep on giving non-solutions and non-answers instead of admitting that the company they work for is garbage son of garbage and that there’s no solution for the problem you found in their product/service.
For example, Apple employees who say that Apple slows down your iPhone with new updates just to “reserve battery life” instead of saying that they’re tryna make you feel that your iPhone is old to trick you to buy the next iPhone.
John: “sometimes the sound of my alarm doesn’t go off even when my iPhone is not silent and the volume is all the way up, and the speakers work by the way, I missed three of my university courses this week just cause of this, why is that happening?”
Apple employee: “yeah it’s because the iphone was silent”
John: “bro i said it happens even when it’s not silent”
Apple employee: “let’s test it”
*tests it* *still doesnt work*
Apple employee: “let’s test the camera”
John: “what does the camera has to do with anything?”
Apple employee: “let’s see the speakers then”
John: “but i said they work...”
Apple employee: “but are they loud enough?”
john: *plays music on iphone*
Apple employee: “can you recreate the alarm issue?”
John: “it happens only sometimes” *tries to recreate it but fails*
John: “cant you check the iPhone with a software or something to see where are the errors coming from?”
Apple employee: “sorry, you cant recreate it so i cant help you, i doubt that it even exists, next person please”
John: “gimme that phone store-donkey”
John: “sometimes the sound of my alarm doesn’t go off even when my iPhone is not silent and the volume is all the way up, and the speakers work by the way, I missed three of my university courses this week just cause of this, why is that happening?”
Apple employee: “yeah it’s because the iphone was silent”
John: “bro i said it happens even when it’s not silent”
Apple employee: “let’s test it”
*tests it* *still doesnt work*
Apple employee: “let’s test the camera”
John: “what does the camera has to do with anything?”
Apple employee: “let’s see the speakers then”
John: “but i said they work...”
Apple employee: “but are they loud enough?”
john: *plays music on iphone*
Apple employee: “can you recreate the alarm issue?”
John: “it happens only sometimes” *tries to recreate it but fails*
John: “cant you check the iPhone with a software or something to see where are the errors coming from?”
Apple employee: “sorry, you cant recreate it so i cant help you, i doubt that it even exists, next person please”
John: “gimme that phone store-donkey”
Store-Donkey by Mans-mans May 19, 2020
Urban Dictionary Merch