shiver me timber 

Slob on my log; Blow me.
Spit shine my baton; Drive my 1 Wood; suck on MY dick.
Speak into my microphone; swallow my sword.

OLD PIRATE ON SHIP: "Aargh. SHIVER ME TIMBER, matey!"
NEW PIRATE IN HOOD: "Yo, shizzle on my dizzle, bizzle?!"

shiver me timber by Chilato (no hate) Hellamongo is LOVE October 21, 2006

Shiver me timber 

From olden days when pirates visited the olde inns and requested the service of prostitutes. The actual term means ‘rapidly stroke my hard penis’. Rapidly stroking like a shiver and hard penis or ‘wood’. Wood also known as timber.

Here young whore I’d like you to shiver me timber for a fair price.

Shiver me timber by Gateboy March 5, 2018

Shiver Me Timbers 

Nowadays used in a passive aggressive way (usually by the british) at school or somewhere public when someone tries to act big and bad or naughty when they're really just a try hard.
For example:

Person 1: Talk shit about me one time and I'll batter you - you hear me?
Person 2: Ooh, sorry roadman - I'm so scared - shiver me timbers!

Shiver Me Timbers by British School Slang February 7, 2020

shiver me timbers 

An exclamation, of surprise or otherwise. This phrase originated from when the water or a canon would hit the ship, and the ship would shake. Hence, shivering, and timbers being the actual ship.

Shiver me timbers, ya bilge rat! Get out of me rum!

shiver me timbers by Julie Raven September 7, 2008

shiver me timbers 

An exclamation, of surprise or otherwise. This phrase originated from when the water or a canon would hit the ship, and the ship would shake. Hence, shivering, and timbers being the actual ship.

Shiver me timbers, ya bilge rat! Get out of me rum!

shiver me timbers by Julie Raven August 6, 2006

shiver me timbers 

Pirate for "shake my bones". Used during times of crises like, bad storms, pillaging gone wrong or seeing an ugly wench. Generally a non-wuss way of saying "I'm a-scared!"

Well shiver me timbers, that wench is makin' my zemmiphobia flair up, yarrrg!!!

shiver me timbers by Detroflem J. April 15, 2006

Shiver me timbers 

What most people don't know is that the pirate saying "shiver me timbers" actually means to "brake the boat". You see timber is obviously wood. The word shiver is to break or split, also referring to a fragment or splinter. In other words "split my wood". This term would most likely be used in an attack from another pirate ship. It does not mean the following: getting laid, an exclamation of surprise, or that you are cold. However most people do use it as an exclamation of surprise.

Come on ye Scallywags' break out yar cannon's Shiver me timbers!!

Shiver me timbers by Imapirateduh January 31, 2007