Scrambled Ham 

The vagina is excessively loose and resembles ham being scrambled in a pan.

I ate my girlfriends scrambled ham and it was all over my face.

Scrambled Ham by josh grier July 26, 2005

Ham Scramble 

The desperate attempt to tuck your junk back into your pants or under the covers after your mother walks in on you masturbating and giving yourself a hearty wanking.

Frank: Hey brahhhh! Why the long face?
Carl: Bad morning. I was giving myself of good old fashioned wank this morning before school and well.......mom walked in on me.
Frank: Were you able to Ham Scramble?
Carl: No. She handed me a tissue and walked out.

Ham Scramble by Eaton Holgoode September 30, 2015