Skip to main content

Saugus Highschool, Ma 

trashy ass kids, trashy ass teachers, shitty fucking people. there are like 5 people there that haven't lost their virginities. everyone there is ugly, trashy, annoying, and bitchy. gross ass teachers that are annoying as fuck and make everyone wanna fucking die. wish the school would fucking burn down already. everyone is mean to each other no matter what and everyone fucks 8th graders. whores left and right. the dudes there are worst. everyone is stupid and the smart kids get bullied. everyone smells like pure shit and 3/4 of the school has fucking STDs. people must do fucking coke cuz everyone there is so fucking stupid and high all the fucking time. fucking losers.
dude: hey bro wanna go to the bathroom and fuck that whore?
dude(2): nah, they lock the bathrooms twenty-four fucking seven so the kids who actually have to go to the bathroom can't
dude: oh yeah, I forgot this is Saugus Highschool, MA
dude(2): why did you put the whole name bro
dude: cuz they fucking made me.

Saugus Malden 

He is a warlord, a demon, a robot, and a dragon. He is the fierce ruler of the planet Earth.

Husband to Hess-Ursula Malden, Queen of Marthox 7.
Father to Buxbee Malden the possibly illegitimate child of Hess and Saugus.

Kidnapped from a public swimming pool early on in his life, he was given super powers by aliens and they brainwashed him to take over the world.

Also See:

"The Ballad of Saugus Malden" - The Epic poem written by disciples of the Malden Clan etching the heroic and historic tale of his virtues and vices in the great continuum of time. It is said that upon hearing the chorus of the ballad women are instantaneously impregnated with the child of Saugus and men feel the deep desire to serve in his ever reaching army.

Favorite words include: Churl, nudie, taint, Wendy's.

Also also see:

"The Chronicles of Hess-Ursula" - A short work based on Hess' hell bent mission to remove the word "please" from the past, present, and future.
HAIL SAUGUS! HAIL SAUGUS! King of the Underworld! King of all that is! King of Wendy's! HAIL SAUGUS!

Dude, that Saugus Malden guy is mean.

Dude, that Saugus Malden guy is wicked awesome.

Dude, THATS SAUGUS MALDEN!
Saugus Malden by Buxbee May 8, 2008