Samuelis Wardis 

A rare species of exotic bird commonly found around military barracks and often places of alcoholic consumption. Known to walk with an awkward gait and occasionally makes loud screeching sounds in combination with flapping in the presence of a female. While on the flip side, interest in females is demonstrated with a strange "bobbing" of his long head and neck that is distinct. Conversations with said females are both minimal and often inconsequential. Water is regarded as a foreign substance, the diet consists of Jack Daniels and toasted croissants.

"Look at that Samuelis Wardis attempting a mating dance over there, poor fellow"
"The poor Samuelis Wardis has no skills with the woman and has the inability to defend himself unless inebriated"

Samuelis Wardis by OsamaBinPapa September 10, 2019