run some diagnostics on the commode

A formal way of saying "take a shit"

Tikh: Hey where ya headed to so fast?
Dylan: I just had my morning coffee, and now I gotta run some diagnostics on the commode!

by Lil' Enyaw December 11, 2016

Run a diagnostic

If someone places a paper towel between there ass cheeks to absorb sweat will eventually need a replacement because of intense use or it slipped out.

I’m going to the restroom to run a diagnostic

by David letr October 9, 2018