Road Game
When you have to take a shit at a place that is not at your home, or work, family or close friend. Everywhere else is playing a "road game".
It is much more difficult to win a "road game". Your shit always seems to be runny or farty,and the stench is always god awful on the road. You always avoid putting yourself in this situation even if it means you drive 1 hour to shit at home.
It is much more difficult to win a "road game". Your shit always seems to be runny or farty,and the stench is always god awful on the road. You always avoid putting yourself in this situation even if it means you drive 1 hour to shit at home.
1. Peter was invited to a Super Bowl Party of his boss after just one week on the job. He made the mistake of letting his roommate drive, so he was stuck. During pre-game, Peter was sweating like a pig and realized he couldn't hold his shit back for the fucking 5 hour game. He was faced with an incredibly difficult "road game".
The only bathroom accessible to the party was in the middle of the kitchen. He exploded 3 parts liquid, 1 part solid, into the pot.
Needless to say Peter lost. Worse, the party host was out of TP in the bathroom and Peter had to ask for more.
Worst defeat ever. Complete shutout. 77-0 final score.
2. Sarah finally had to go. So Kevin pulled off the Jersey turnpike and Sarah shat all over the stall at the McDonalds. 28-7
3. Eric's train was 10 min away, but he couldn't hold his shit any longer. This was serious, Grand Central Terminal bathroom might be the worst on Earth. But Eric really had to shit.
Eric lost. He barfed before he shat because he sat in another guys puddle of crap and slipped on a thick turd, while two guys were butt packing in the next stall. Loss 55-3
4. Ralph just met his girlfriend's parents. Yet, the taco bell wasn't holding so a trip to the bath room to shit was urgent. Ralph asked where it was and Jenny's parents pointed across the kitchen. For the next 15 min, Ralph was farting, shitting and moaning as the 3 bean burritos and 2 soft tacos left his bowels. Fire sauce was a bad choice.
Jenny dumped Ralph the next day. 28-21
The only bathroom accessible to the party was in the middle of the kitchen. He exploded 3 parts liquid, 1 part solid, into the pot.
Needless to say Peter lost. Worse, the party host was out of TP in the bathroom and Peter had to ask for more.
Worst defeat ever. Complete shutout. 77-0 final score.
2. Sarah finally had to go. So Kevin pulled off the Jersey turnpike and Sarah shat all over the stall at the McDonalds. 28-7
3. Eric's train was 10 min away, but he couldn't hold his shit any longer. This was serious, Grand Central Terminal bathroom might be the worst on Earth. But Eric really had to shit.
Eric lost. He barfed before he shat because he sat in another guys puddle of crap and slipped on a thick turd, while two guys were butt packing in the next stall. Loss 55-3
4. Ralph just met his girlfriend's parents. Yet, the taco bell wasn't holding so a trip to the bath room to shit was urgent. Ralph asked where it was and Jenny's parents pointed across the kitchen. For the next 15 min, Ralph was farting, shitting and moaning as the 3 bean burritos and 2 soft tacos left his bowels. Fire sauce was a bad choice.
Jenny dumped Ralph the next day. 28-21
Road Game by Hamburger and Fries August 5, 2010
