Quantity Surveyor

An adorable man who thinks only with numbers but when conversing with women talks only with the language of love. If he were an animal he'd be a mule, i.e. he lives in a group but when his time has come he walks alone in the desert and accepts his fate.

'Hey John I saw Rusty the other day, he's a Quantity Surveyor'...gasping, John replies 'wow Pete, I hear they are phallic gods with the brain power of Stephen Hawking'...'too true John, I'd give my left nut-sack and an hour of cunnilingus with Thora Herd's (RIP) rotting corpse to be a Quantity Surveyor'

Quantity Surveyor by Rusty-Horny-But-Crusty December 15, 2008

Quantity Surveyor

The most slimy, greedy, biggest con-merchant wankers in construction industry. Always altering/chopping and changing costs like an evil Sith Lord at the expense of poor white man subcontractor who is feeding his family on 12 pence per day.

Trying to understand a QS who is justifying an horrifically/disgusting high cost to you using a spreadsheet which looks as if it was created by Stephen Hawking is like a Finnish man trying to understand the entire Qur'an off by heart in less than 12 hours.

Most of them have little construction technology knowledge and exist only to tinker around on Microsoft Excel like a child on candycrush.

If you want to work in construction, don't be a wanker Quantity Surveyor. (I recommend being an architect, you get to wear trendy glasses and drive a Saab around like a boss).

'That Quantity Surveyor charged me £20,000 for a toilet seat and he's still holding money we were owed by the contractor 2 years ago - nobhead!'

Quantity Surveyor by jk5_1986 February 23, 2015