Pump Monkey 

A member of the press who intentionally exaggerates the current state of affairs to satisfy a personal political bias.

Reporter: Although unemployment is at a record high, the fact the the DOW average has increased ten points is a sure sign that the economy is growing at a brisk pace.

Reader: Another fantasy land article written by a pump monkey.

Pump Monkey by Misa Violet January 24, 2012

Pump Monkey 

A relentless self-serving cheerleader for financial markets generally motivated by an ulterior motive, e.g. a liar.

"Experts" who promote their own "book," or investment strategy with an aim toward personal gain.

Economic recovery is dependent upon pump monkeys bolstering consumer confidence.

Pump Monkey by Adam Smith Jr. July 17, 2012

pump monkey 

A guy who lifts heavy weights, a lot, usually in the gym.

"I'm gonna lift with the pump monkeys. Be back later."

pump monkey by Silicon Dogwoods August 13, 2020

Pump Monkey 

A Pump Monkey is anyone who is the gas attendent at a gas station. This is one of the lowest jobs someone can have.

1 - Guess what! I got a job!

2 - Where?

1 - Gas Station, pumping gas!

2 - HA! You are such a Pump Monkey!

Pump Monkey by Enigma Pie July 29, 2006

Monkey pump

Used in reference to strong alcohol that can make someone go absolutely ape upon ingestion.

Well looks like we’re going crazy tonight boys, I’ve got some monkey pump.

Monkey pump by Brainacles November 15, 2020

pump a monkey

To have sex with a black person. The mark of a true skank.

"How the fuck could you pump a monkey? I guess you'll have sex with anything."

pump a monkey by Anonymous321321 December 19, 2006

Monkey Pump

Any being in the primate specification who is impregnated and gives birth to two or more babies. When it takes place, it looks like the mother is being pumped and resembles a hose. Also called the cannon of life.

Jim: Dude, I saw a monkey giving birth in the Amazon yesterday! There was like five babies and a lot of blood.

Todd: Oh my god a monkey pump! That is hot.

Monkey Pump by John Steinbech April 28, 2011