A book, movie, television documentary, etc. which exploits the sadness and drama of cancer. Such a work will often make the cancer patient (and/or caregiver) into a glowing hero/ine with boundless enthusiasm, energy, love and forgiveness. Cancer porn makes cancer look glamorous while down playing the pain and ugliness of the disease.
She: I hear that new movie "A Cancer Love Story" is really lovely! Sounds like a great date movie.
He: I hear it's maudlin CANCER PORN and should be avoided like a severe case of melanoma.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.