PARANOIA

The condition of someone being frantically suspicious/cautious or intensely emo and shut-in.
This mental instability usually occurs when the victim is in small groups or alone.
A person who is paranoid may very well be convinced that they're being watched by a wide assortment of imaginary figures &/or "real" people.
Imaginary figures may include, but are not limited to:
ninjas, pirates, zombies, the FBI, aliens, shonen bat, pokemon, "nothing", cats in the ceiling, snow monsters, ghosts, demons, and/or secret organizations.
"Real" people may include a creepy old person you saw at the supermarket, that veteran who sits on the bench across that street, your uncle, the police, the FBI, joggers, TLA's(three-letter-agencies), your other uncle, gangsters(or gangstahz), black people, street bums, local, national, or international gangs, and Paranoia support groups.
Many fears can easily stem directly from paranoia. Contrary to popular belief, the fear of the dark is also a byproduct of paranoia.

Pirate nerd in a dark hallway: "It's just a bunch of ninjas... it's just a bunch of ninjas!!! Goddamn sneaky bastards!!!"

Paranoia Guy: "Those damn black people are trying to jump me!!!"
Non-Paranoid Guy: "Dude, they're on a Television show, calm down."

Emo Phillips: "I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code."

FBI: "We are not watching your every movement, Mr.Alex Beresnev of Columbia, Maryland."

by 8ofSpades February 10, 2010

paranoia

No chance I'm gonna give a definition.. What if someone's watching? :o

/me dons ninja mask

I must be paranoid, I keep looking over my back for th.. AAAAHHHH!!!!!!

by EmSixTeen August 07, 2004

paranoia

Believing that everyone is out to get you.

Although it is true that everyone IS out to get you, such as the government and stalkers.

by AYB April 01, 2003

Paranoia

You feel everyone is watching you and constantly passing judgment on you because you make the same mistakes anyone else does, but its somehow different with you because youre just the tiniest bit wierd, and you think everyone knows about you and talks about you and knows you know just because they feed off of your frustration....like that retard dude in the SUV who is looking as you walk down the street at you wierd because its fun to see you get mad...in other words, youre really paranoid and you dont know it, and so you act wierd, which makes everyone notice you. Sucks.

1st dude: Hello(*as you pass by*)

You:...Hi(*you tense up, you know that sonofabitch is gonna call the cops on your sorry ass, you paranoia freak*)

by McMadman September 01, 2008

paranoia

Pretending to wash your hands when nobody else is even in the men's room.

by auaiomrn April 01, 2003

paranoia

When you do something naughty about 1-7 meters away from a teacher, depending on the circumstance, and you have no idea if they saw/heard you. It’s like paranoid schizophrenia on crack. You want to turn around and see if they saw. But you can’t. You're just stuck there, frozen. Your mates are telling you "sir is behind you!" and you’re just thinking about the punishment from this. You think about all your life choices leading up to this very situation. Then your heart sinks and you feel butterflies. Nearly fainting, you awkwardly, anonymously walk away slowly. He didn’t see you. You know he didn’t. But we do this anyway.

Jamal: fuck

Jimmy: bro miss yeet is behind you

Jamal: *extreme paranoia*

Jimmy: bro he's a gonner. Hes got paranoia. No coming from that now.

Can we get an F in the chat for Jamal there.

by i out pizza'd the hut November 04, 2020

Paranoia

Somewhat common personality disorder. Symptoms include not trusting people, holding grudges with ease, and taking jokes much too seriously.
Pros: No one can get you! Muahaha!
Cons: Hard to talk to people without you thinking they're gonna get you.

That guy over there keeps looking over his shoulder. He obviously suffers from paranoia.

by Armthehobos May 23, 2007