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The Deepak Chopra of talk show hosts. A god to soccer moms everywhere, and an egregious blight on everyone else. While her work ethic and her ability to overcome the horrid obstacles of her early life should be admired, she uses her platform as one of the most influential women on the planet to peddle woo, promote empty, platitudinous feel-good pop psychology horseshit, and give a prominent platform for the often-harmful advice of hacks and charlatans (see Dr. Phil, "psychologist", Dr. Oz, energy-healing quack, Jenny McCarthy, anti-vaccine kook, and, again, Deepak Chopra, for prominent examples). Every time she's on air, she has the opportunity to provide the truth and give people useful information to live by, but instead, kowtows to quackery, clapping like a trained seal in the process. As such, her influence does a disservice to the critical thinking skills of the general public, and should be considered nothing but a pus-filled carbuncle - nay - a malignant cancer on the asshole of Reason by any person who values their critical faculties. Fuck Oprah, and everything that snake oil-peddling, self-important cow stands for!
Bob: Did you watch Oprah Winfrey yesterday?
Greg: No, why?
Bob: She had a psychic come on the show to discuss her new book about crystal healing being used to cure cancer, and why you don't needn't consult a medical professional for treatment any longer. And the stupid, mindless pack of sycophantic soccer moms gobbled it up like it was the fucking Gospel!
Greg: *facepalm* This is why we can't have nice things!
by Dr. Snark, PhD October 25, 2013
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Talks black to blacks, white to whites, but loves the green, am I right?
Halle, Girl, I am so mf-ing excited to see that ghetto ass in Catwoman!
Miss Kidman, how is your 401K?
OOOOO, AHH, money in my pants!
by Kris Benson March 29, 2005
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A condescending yo-yo dieting and especially wealthy talk show host. She manages to fake empathy with many a fan and brainwash numerous women with cheap advice or quick fixes to life. She appears self centered and completely absorbed with herself for becoming famous. For example when that writer lied to her on her show, it was for lying to the almighty Oprah, instead of deceiving her fans or many other individuals. Instead of taking a real stance on important issues Oprah uses soft media or sob stories to grab ignorant people's attention and create a fan base.
Mrs. One: "Did you see?! Oprah Winfrey put that man who sold her bad Chinese food on trial!"
Mr. One: "Hmm.. shouldn't she focus on the unstable economy or that horrendous war instead of these trivial issues?"
by the exestential onion October 11, 2008
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A rich and famous woman who can shit money - Basically, her asshole is an atm.

Oprah Winfrey: -takes a shit-

*5 mins later, goes back to her show.*

Oprah Winfrey: I just took a big shit, now who wants a brand new mansion for free?
by bas fon August 01, 2008
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An alien that can change her weight every day by the hundreds and shit money. It's famous for single-handedly twisting American women round it's finger turning them into it's bitches. It has an ego the size of the universe, and henceforth believes the universe revolves around itself.
I'm Oprah winfrey. give me your life.
by OPOPL October 25, 2009
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fat thing of indeterminate gender (posing as a female) that is a major cause of the soccer mom craze worldwide. Host of a television show that broadcasts insincerity and bitchiness across the world.
Get rid of NASCAR and Oprah Winfrey and America will be perfect again.
by Invierno October 15, 2005
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The most Amazing African-American woman who ever lived. Not only is she a billionare, she single-handedly turned millions of white soccer moms into her personal slaves. White women follow her like sheep
Oprah Winfrey : "Lissen white people. Buy this book. Ah sez its the best even though the author lies like a rug."
White soccer moms: "Yessum Miz Oprah! We do annyting you say Miz Oprah!"
Oprah: Now pay to attention to mah freend Doctor Phil. He know how to make yew wenches satisfy yo' bucks".
White soccer moms: "Lawdy!, We be hanging on all his words Miz Oprah."
by FederalQ2b February 11, 2006
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