Old Man Disease 

An abnormal, chronic condition that utterly destroys the spirit of those unfortunate enough to be affected. Victims usually enter an initial phase of existential shock coupled with long bouts of heavy, heavy introspection. Symptoms usually include a decreased will to participate in all social activities, as well as a general lethargic and depressing outlook. This disease is highly infectious and may be transferred merely by word of mouth in fortuitous circumstances. This disease carries no race bias.

Treatment: Direct intervention by loved ones, making significant amounts of money, getting laid.

H: Sup Jones?
J: Oh, hey Haboob.
H: How's it goin?
J: Oh, dude.. I'm super stressed about all this reading I got to get done this week. Plus my arms are super sore from cleaning all those big ass boats all day. I don't even know what I'm doing with my life anymore(patient undergoes period of existential shock).
H: I was not expecting that kind of real shit. So... I guess that means you're not coming out tonight?
J: Nah man, I gotta get my shit together. I'll have like a beer or two... maybe. Hey, maybe you should start thinking about taking school seriously too.
H: ....

1 week later...

L: Sup Haboob?
H: Oh, hey Laz.... How's it goin?
L: Oh life's great man, I got this new job and I'm making good money. Hours are shit but its good. How's yours?
H: Aw, man. I've been studying all week and feel like shit. I feel like I'm getting too old for all this partying (patient undergoes period of existential shock). I gotta make money man, 20 is the new 55. I've been trading bitcoins all week.
L: Oh, shit. Does that mean you're not coming out tonight?
H: I'll come around, maybe have one beer.
L:....

2 weeks later....

P: Yo, Laz! Let's get hanned tonight~
L: Can't man. I'm allergic to beer.
P: Man, this dumbass nigga got the Old Man Disease.

Old Man Disease by koolgraps December 4, 2013

Old Man Tongue Disease 

when one uses his/her tongue repeatedly to moisten their lips...or smelling the air with their tongue. commonly found at bingo parlors or park benches...and persons over the age of 63.

' i saw a man earlier lick his lips 20-30 times in a minute like a snake...he must have had "old man tongue disease"!!

Old Man Tongue Disease by therealdow August 27, 2012

Old man short dick disease 

Is the condition - which generally affects older malse, post mid life crisis. Symptoms include clearly overcompensating for lack of plausible "mojo". Being an absolute douche bag yet being blissfully unaware.

Old man short dick disease can generally be identified by his balding head, prestigious car such as a Lamborghini, Ferrari or Maserati and is at most times accompanied by a perky blonde in her 20s.

Yet don't be fooled this is the full extent of this mans alluring qualities.

When you drive past that Lamborghini and see an 58 year old man, generally unatractive and balding. Promo girl in the passanger seat with a great boob Job - you can now think to yourself

'old man short dick disease'

Old man short dick disease by GeekSheek June 26, 2012