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Monkey Douche

When a women is crouching/squatting in the tub naked facing the faucet with it running. She then repeadetly catches water in her hands and hand over hand begins tossing it into her vagina in hopes to extract male sperm (cum) out of her. The motion similar to that of a monkey throwing there feces hand over hand over there shoulders. (Yet in the situations one hand at a time and into there vagina)
Male: Hey hunny I hear the shower running. Coming in to join you. hehehe

Female: (not responding/did not hear)

Male: (sneaks in and sees her in tub) Um hey...

Female: GET OUT OF HERE!!

Male: Did I just catch you doing a Monkey Douche
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Douche Monkey 

A rare form of inbred monkey that live primarily in used condoms, gutters, garbage disposals, and windmills. i.e. a monkey so gay, that its only form of employment is cleaning the cunts and nutsacks of transgender freaks. A fucked up monkey.
Raphael: Yo, what u got under ur bed?
Demetri: Shit, piss, whiskey, and a Douche Monkey...
Raphael: Sweet, can I buy your Douche Monkey?
Demetri: Hell no, then no one would clean my balls!
Raphael: Ur a fucked up dude..
Douche Monkey by cdogg23 November 8, 2007

Douche Monkey 

Anything you want it to mean there is no real definition but most of the time it is an insult

douche monkey 

No real meaning, just any insult of your choice.

A monkey who douches.
Hunter is such a fucking douche monkey, all he does is pretend to be black.

After the douche monkey did her job, her boyfriend, Jerry, was happy to eat her out.
douche monkey by John Shmigma May 13, 2005

douche monkey 

1. Alan Tate
2. A monkey that douches
3. A nasty person
Mr. Douche Monkey is such a fag.
My douche monkey keeps away the STDs.
That douche monkey raped a cat.
douche monkey by Rap Master G December 30, 2004

douche monkey 

One who deceitfully puts out information regaurding games (i.e. assassin) or events that can give someone false hopes.
douche monkey by Rib Meister April 1, 2004

Douche monkey 

Someone that is completely useless and without any value what-so-ever.
John does nothing to care for his mother and just sponges off of her. He is a real douche monkey.
Douche monkey by Melek February 4, 2015
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After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
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murderhobo 

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A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
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