Monicaitis

Is a unique condition characterized by inflammation of the heart and brain, leading to an intensified sense of love and desire specifically for someone named Monica. This condition results in heightened emotions and a strong, continuous longing for the individual named Monica. The inflamed state of both the heart and the brain causes the affected person to experience a profound and persistent stream of affection and attraction towards Monica. It is a rare and unusual medical phenomenon where the individual's emotional and cognitive functions become tightly intertwined with their feelings towards Monica, resulting in an unprecedented focus on their love and desire for her.

I can't feel anything exept for the loneliness when Monica isn't near! I do nothing without missing her laugh mostly! I miss her in every moment of everyday that she is gone away. I just want to respectfully Love her! Hug her! Hold her! Kiss Her! Caress her! Touch Her! Feel her! Want her! Need her! Smell her! Hear her! Tickle her! Taste her! Bath her! Feed her! Choke her! So much that I feel as if I should hate her for being so infectious that I am infected with the uncurabile Monicaitis!

by La Monica De Tonic June 18, 2024

monititis

Monititis, commonly known as “computer poisoning,” occurs when a patient is subjugated, either through occupational obligation, or—shockingly and more commonly—through his own free will, to endless hours of staring directly at a monitor, including those of computers, televisions, smartphones, and similar devices. Common symptoms of this rapidly spreading virus include headache, nausea, vomiting, brain damage, obesity, and frying of the retina, with more severe symptoms including vision loss, heart failure, depression, employment loss, loss of friendship, loss of a social life in general, and an overall rapid decay in moral character.

More troubling, however, are recent studies concluding decisively that patients spending more than 4 hours/day in front of the computer are likely to experience an inexplicable yet overwhelming need to devote the rest of their day to similar activities, rendered hopelessly impotent in preventing further damage.

Monititis, either mild or severe, has been found in a staggering 86% of adults aged 18-50 tested in the United States, with infection rates disproportionately higher in males aged 18-24. Scientific studies have also, disturbingly, shown that 95% of infected patients are wholly unaware of their ailment. In rare cases, a patient may consciously discover the cause of discomfort; however, most of these patients will quickly, suddenly, and irreversibly forget their ascertainment, again rendering them helpless in taking reparative action.

Sick Guy: Owww…….fuck!

Healthy Guy: What’s wrong, dude?

Sick Guy: Monititis, man. I can’t fucking see straight anymore.

Healthy Guy: What the hell is monititis?

---five-second pause---

Sick Guy (angry and confused): What?!? What are you talking about?

Healthy Guy: Dude, you just said like five seconds ago that you were suffering from moni—

Sick Guy: Please, if you would EXCUSE me, somebody just added me on Facebook!

by monititis_poster November 17, 2010

monicitis

Monicitis is the disease that causes a slew of negative side effects listed in the formal post listed above.

However, recent medical research at John Hopkins University has brought several new side effects to attention.

Including but not limited to;

-Posting false definitions attempting to undermind the work of Dr. Louis Tres
-Awful hair
-Absence of linguistic formalities. For instance, if there was a building that stood for grammatical integrity, monicitis would be the plane that crashed into it.
-STD's (Yes, monicitis is an STD that apparently causes more STD's)<--- Truly a medical anomaly.

Researchers at John Hopkins have also informed me that they are currently testing experimental medicine which could lead to an antidote(monicdote). More information on this "monicdote" will be posted as it is received.

Timmuel - "Whoa that bitch just stepped up to mah boy lewey trey(Dr. Louis Tres)!"

Dr. Louis Tres - "Timmuel calm down my sweet chinchilla, its just the side effect of that nasty disease Monicitis."

Timmuel - "No wonder! No one with that disgusting disease could ever in any capacity be better than my boy Dr. Louis Tres!"

by Dr Louis Tres January 21, 2010

monicitis

a "disease" made up by a scene fagot who got pretty jealous hen he/she was denied sex to a girl named monica. their only way of getting back at her for not fooling around with them was to make up a ridiculously stupid thing up about her on urban dictionary.

hey i'm a gay scene kid who wants to make fun of someone 8737548x's cooler than me... we'll call it monicitis ;)

by yousuckassssssssssssssforever January 19, 2010