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Masdebating

The act of getting sexually aroused from participating in and/or watching debate. This can be any debate, whether political, religious, or who should be the designated driver after everyone gets shitfaced on vodka.
Ricky: Why the fuck does Tom always whip his dick out and start fapping away whenever a presidential debate is on?

Jack: He's masdebating. He has a fetish for debate.

Ricky: Ah, I see. Excuse me while I go throw up about something else.
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Maskerbating 

Wearing a mask while completely alone
Before I even realized it, I was maskerbating in my car yesterday!
Maskerbating by Photoist July 28, 2020

maskerbating 

maskerbating - Wearing a COVID-19 mask while driving in your car alone or walking outside alone. Go do it into the privacy of your home.
I saw somebody maskerbating in their car with the windows up, and a COVID-19 mask strapped tightly onto their face.
maskerbating by Crackerguy June 10, 2020

masterbating with a cheese grater 

Doing a task that is not a good idea
Moving this piano without help is like masterbating with a cheese grater.

masterbating 

Guy 1:Man, I think steve's masturbating again.
Guy 2: From the sound of it, he ain't just masturbating, he's MASTERbating.

stealth masterbating 

When one wacks off as quietly as possible so as to not disturb the people in the same room.
Sam: I hope no one notices I am stealth masterbating
Girl friend: Sam ... are you wacking off!!!!
Sam: Oh Shit!

Masterbating Monkey 

A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.
The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.