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A long dick- I mean, a long metal sword that is longer than a pen- I mean knife. It is often use for se- hunting!! It can cut through as- grass.
I stabbed my retarded friend with a machete
by OneFuckingMachete October 3, 2019
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a long knife, used for hacking your way through the jungle. also the most awesome zombie killing tool ever.
Shit, theres zombies outside. wheres my machete
by ltdelicious May 4, 2009
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Machete is the most bad ass movie ever created. It is about Machete, and ex-Federale who is a legend to all Mexican-Americans, being betrayed by a company who hired him off of the street to assassinate Senator John McLaughlin. All out war is declared and Machete's Mexican-American army kick some fucking balls off. Also includes Lyndsay Lohan's tits.
Guy 1-Dude! Did you see Machete?

Guy 2- Hell ya! I jerked off so hard to Lindsay Lohan's tits!
by skown February 19, 2011
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After the act of either anal sex, vaginal sex, behind the knee sex, and/or being BLOWN, the man removes his penis and with a slashing motion, during the release of his baby yogurt, slaps the female continuously across the facial area. This creates a flowing stream of white goodness that showers the females face. The man also has the option of screaming "Machete" as he is bringing down the cum hammer.
Dude, I got pissed at your mom yesterday so I went ahead and gave her a Machete. She then had the biscuits to say that she wanted another. Dude, your mom loves the cock!
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the alternate name for the male "unit" usually reffered by this name to impress the length of the machete to the ladies.
hey baby, let me show you my machete.
by Anonymous June 6, 2003
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To have a threesome with a girl and her mother. Usually done in a pool while being recorded with a video camera.
I went to her house this weekend and macheted her and her mom.
by rustyspikeshackleford March 21, 2011
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