Skip to main content

Analogue rectal exam 

While your finger is inserted into your ladies anus, you reach around and flip her clitoris about with the corner of a cassette tape.
Descartes: "What did you do last night bro?"

Pascal: "Gave my girlfriend an analogue rectal exam."

Descartes: "Nice. So what did you serve up?"

Pascal: "Black Sabbath of course"

analogue wank 

Having to revert to the more traditional methods of masturbation by using "old skool" materials such as books, magazines and rude drawings.
My fucking internet isn't getting connected for another fortnight! I'm gonna have to settle for an analogue wank tonight instead of YouJizz!
analogue wank by darkh0rse July 2, 2011

analogue poo 

When you go for a poo but forget to take your phone with you. Devoid of the stimuli of checking emails and social media you're obliged to spend a few minutes on analogue pursuits, such as thinking, meditating, singing, or perhaps reading a book or newspaper.
I'd already started to let one out when I realised my phone was on my desk, so I had to do an analogue poo. But that's ok, I came up with a great plan for the next book I'm never going to write.
analogue poo by jwgrooves June 13, 2017

manalogue 

(Noun)The inevitably male diatribe on the subject of sports teams, cars, women, fitness etc regardless of the interst shown by the listener
"Yeah i had to interupt Craigs manalogue on his gruelling training schedual"
manalogue by Saul Fajerman July 2, 2008

analogue g-chat

passing notes the old fashioned way, i.e. by actually passing notes on a piece of paper. Has mostly been replaced by g-chat now.
Did you see those girls had their analogue g-chat going in class?" "Yeah, the professor totally saw and ripped them a new one...
analogue g-chat by Amanda Pisces November 3, 2010

analogue cigarette 

–noun
A traditional roll of finely cut tobacco cured for smoking with real fire, and is usually wrapped in a thin white paper.

The opposite of a digital cigarette, or more commonly known as an Electronic Cigarette, or E-Cigarette.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
in the year 2024 A.D.

Friend: "Gary ... whats that in your mouth?"

Gary: "Its an analogue cigarette. I found a carton of them stored in my dad's old boxes up in the attic."

Friend: "Thats so retro. We should bring these back in style! Lets take them to school. Pretty soon everyone will be smoking analogue cigarettes."