11 definition by jwgrooves

Top Definition
adjective

1 - having a harmful effect, eg to health

2 - the panicky paranoid state of mind which inspires one to go through old emails, texts, etc, deleting anything which may be vaguely incriminating
I found my girlfriend going through my phone, but it's ok cos I got a bit deleterious last week and wiped those drunk text messages to my ex from my outbox
by jwgrooves September 05, 2010

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The bliss of a well-kept lady-garden.
She's so neat and tidy, so serene; this utopiary is the ideal of a perfect pudenda. I want to live here forever.
by jwgrooves July 07, 2010

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Someone who is so annoying that to call them only one penis-based-insult just isn't enough.

A compound insult that should be reserved for truly special individuals.

A bit like twatcunt.
Peter: I say! That man's pissing in our front garden.

Susan: What a dicknob! Fetch the musket.
by jwgrooves October 08, 2010

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After you've scraped the snow from the windscreen and windows, the neat patch of snow left on the roof of your car.
My car looks wicked, all blinged up with snow chains and a crucial snofro.
by jwgrooves December 19, 2010

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A connoisseur of fine food and wine, who is small and ugly.

Michael Winner.
Michael Winner: Waiter! This steak is diabolical. It is clearly medium rare when I specified medium! The pasta course was unimaginative and barely tepid, and as for the soup, it was redolent of a Montmartre fille du joie's vaginal secretions after a hard night's work.

Waiter: What do you expect in a Travelodge? Bloody gastrognome. *spits on desert*
by jwgrooves March 05, 2011

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An unexpected windfall that makes you feel really excited and happy - as long as you don't think about how much idiot tax you paid in the first place.
Me: Hooray! Hoorah! I've won ten quid on the lottery!

Wife: Yeah, but you buy two tickets a week, so over the last year you've wasted over a hundred quid. This is just an idiot tax rebate.
by jwgrooves January 27, 2011

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Psychological / neurological condition.

The inability to pass a single moment without interacting with a computer screen of some sort.

The inability to pause and relax and actually think about nothing, without feeling the overwhelming need to fill your consciousness with the inane drivel that your extended circle of "friends" post on their social media.

The inability to interact with real people in a social situation without fucking tweeting that you're doing so and instagramming a photo of it onto fucking pinterest.
Work was utterly hectic so I took five minutes away from the desk to do a crap, but I have Obsessive Computing Disorder so before I knew it I was getting my phone out for a quick game of turds with friends
by jwgrooves October 24, 2013

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