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jwgrooves's definitions

idiot tax rebate

An unexpected windfall that makes you feel really excited and happy - as long as you don't think about how much idiot tax you paid in the first place.
Me: Hooray! Hoorah! I've won ten quid on the lottery!

Wife: Yeah, but you buy two tickets a week, so over the last year you've wasted over a hundred quid. This is just an idiot tax rebate.
by jwgrooves January 27, 2011
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snofro

After you've scraped the snow from the windscreen and windows, the neat patch of snow left on the roof of your car.
My car looks wicked, all blinged up with snow chains and a crucial snofro.
by jwgrooves December 20, 2010
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deleterious

adjective

1 - having a harmful effect, eg to health

2 - the panicky paranoid state of mind which inspires one to go through old emails, texts, etc, deleting anything which may be vaguely incriminating
I found my girlfriend going through my phone, but it's ok cos I got a bit deleterious last week and wiped those drunk text messages to my ex from my outbox
by jwgrooves September 5, 2010
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dicknob

Someone who is so annoying that to call them only one penis-based-insult just isn't enough.

A compound insult that should be reserved for truly special individuals.

A bit like twatcunt.
Peter: I say! That man's pissing in our front garden.

Susan: What a dicknob! Fetch the musket.
by jwgrooves October 11, 2010
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utopiary

The bliss of a well-kept lady-garden.
She's so neat and tidy, so serene; this utopiary is the ideal of a perfect pudenda. I want to live here forever.
by jwgrooves July 9, 2010
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preemptive gay strike

The practise, usually employed by sexually insecure males around men they suspect may be homosexual, of firmly establishing their heterosexuality even before it was called into question.
Dale: Nice hat, John.

John: Yeah, thanks, my wife bought it for me. She's a girl. With tits and everything. Mmmm, tits.

Dale: No need for the preemptive gay strike, dude. You're so not my type.

John: Hmph.
by jwgrooves August 17, 2010
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Obsessive Computing Disorder

Psychological / neurological condition.

The inability to pass a single moment without interacting with a computer screen of some sort.

The inability to pause and relax and actually think about nothing, without feeling the overwhelming need to fill your consciousness with the inane drivel that your extended circle of "friends" post on their social media.

The inability to interact with real people in a social situation without fucking tweeting that you're doing so and instagramming a photo of it onto fucking pinterest.
Work was utterly hectic so I took five minutes away from the desk to do a crap, but I have Obsessive Computing Disorder so before I knew it I was getting my phone out for a quick game of turds with friends
by jwgrooves October 24, 2013
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