jwgrooves's definitions
Michael Winner: Waiter! This steak is diabolical. It is clearly medium rare when I specified medium! The pasta course was unimaginative and barely tepid, and as for the soup, it was redolent of a Montmartre fille du joie's vaginal secretions after a hard night's work.
Waiter: What do you expect in a Travelodge? Bloody gastrognome. *spits on desert*
Waiter: What do you expect in a Travelodge? Bloody gastrognome. *spits on desert*
by jwgrooves March 20, 2011
Get the gastrognomemug. The practise, usually employed by sexually insecure males around men they suspect may be homosexual, of firmly establishing their heterosexuality even before it was called into question.
Dale: Nice hat, John.
John: Yeah, thanks, my wife bought it for me. She's a girl. With tits and everything. Mmmm, tits.
Dale: No need for the preemptive gay strike, dude. You're so not my type.
John: Hmph.
John: Yeah, thanks, my wife bought it for me. She's a girl. With tits and everything. Mmmm, tits.
Dale: No need for the preemptive gay strike, dude. You're so not my type.
John: Hmph.
by jwgrooves August 17, 2010
Get the preemptive gay strikemug. Psychological / neurological condition.
The inability to pass a single moment without interacting with a computer screen of some sort.
The inability to pause and relax and actually think about nothing, without feeling the overwhelming need to fill your consciousness with the inane drivel that your extended circle of "friends" post on their social media.
The inability to interact with real people in a social situation without fucking tweeting that you're doing so and instagramming a photo of it onto fucking pinterest.
The inability to pass a single moment without interacting with a computer screen of some sort.
The inability to pause and relax and actually think about nothing, without feeling the overwhelming need to fill your consciousness with the inane drivel that your extended circle of "friends" post on their social media.
The inability to interact with real people in a social situation without fucking tweeting that you're doing so and instagramming a photo of it onto fucking pinterest.
Work was utterly hectic so I took five minutes away from the desk to do a crap, but I have Obsessive Computing Disorder so before I knew it I was getting my phone out for a quick game of turds with friends
by jwgrooves October 24, 2013
Get the Obsessive Computing Disordermug. A state of the art, compact, portable electronic device with an LCD display, capable of carrying out complex mathematical calculations.
A calculator.
A calculator.
What's the area of a circle with a 5cm radius? Dammit, why didn't I upload the pi-calculator app to my ipod 5 GTi?
Don't worry, we can check the answer on my Pi-Pod.
*blows dust off calculator*
Don't worry, we can check the answer on my Pi-Pod.
*blows dust off calculator*
by jwgrooves January 4, 2012
Get the Pi-Podmug. After you've scraped the snow from the windscreen and windows, the neat patch of snow left on the roof of your car.
by jwgrooves December 20, 2010
Get the snofromug. When you go for a poo but forget to take your phone with you. Devoid of the stimuli of checking emails and social media you're obliged to spend a few minutes on analogue pursuits, such as thinking, meditating, singing, or perhaps reading a book or newspaper.
I'd already started to let one out when I realised my phone was on my desk, so I had to do an analogue poo. But that's ok, I came up with a great plan for the next book I'm never going to write.
by jwgrooves June 13, 2017
Get the analogue poomug. An unexpected windfall that makes you feel really excited and happy - as long as you don't think about how much idiot tax you paid in the first place.
Me: Hooray! Hoorah! I've won ten quid on the lottery!
Wife: Yeah, but you buy two tickets a week, so over the last year you've wasted over a hundred quid. This is just an idiot tax rebate.
Wife: Yeah, but you buy two tickets a week, so over the last year you've wasted over a hundred quid. This is just an idiot tax rebate.
by jwgrooves January 27, 2011
Get the idiot tax rebatemug.