The bliss of a well-kept lady-garden.
She's so neat and tidy, so serene; this utopiary is the ideal of a perfect pudenda. I want to live here forever.
by jwgrooves July 09, 2010
Get the utopiary mug.After you've scraped the snow from the windscreen and windows, the neat patch of snow left on the roof of your car.
by jwgrooves December 20, 2010
Get the snofro mug.When you go for a poo but forget to take your phone with you. Devoid of the stimuli of checking emails and social media you're obliged to spend a few minutes on analogue pursuits, such as thinking, meditating, singing, or perhaps reading a book or newspaper.
I'd already started to let one out when I realised my phone was on my desk, so I had to do an analogue poo. But that's ok, I came up with a great plan for the next book I'm never going to write.
by jwgrooves June 13, 2017
Get the analogue poo mug.A state of the art, compact, portable electronic device with an LCD display, capable of carrying out complex mathematical calculations.
A calculator.
A calculator.
What's the area of a circle with a 5cm radius? Dammit, why didn't I upload the pi-calculator app to my ipod 5 GTi?
Don't worry, we can check the answer on my Pi-Pod.
*blows dust off calculator*
Don't worry, we can check the answer on my Pi-Pod.
*blows dust off calculator*
by jwgrooves January 04, 2012
Get the Pi-Pod mug.An unexpected windfall that makes you feel really excited and happy - as long as you don't think about how much idiot tax you paid in the first place.
Me: Hooray! Hoorah! I've won ten quid on the lottery!
Wife: Yeah, but you buy two tickets a week, so over the last year you've wasted over a hundred quid. This is just an idiot tax rebate.
Wife: Yeah, but you buy two tickets a week, so over the last year you've wasted over a hundred quid. This is just an idiot tax rebate.
by jwgrooves January 27, 2011
Get the idiot tax rebate mug.Psychological / neurological condition.
The inability to pass a single moment without interacting with a computer screen of some sort.
The inability to pause and relax and actually think about nothing, without feeling the overwhelming need to fill your consciousness with the inane drivel that your extended circle of "friends" post on their social media.
The inability to interact with real people in a social situation without fucking tweeting that you're doing so and instagramming a photo of it onto fucking pinterest.
The inability to pass a single moment without interacting with a computer screen of some sort.
The inability to pause and relax and actually think about nothing, without feeling the overwhelming need to fill your consciousness with the inane drivel that your extended circle of "friends" post on their social media.
The inability to interact with real people in a social situation without fucking tweeting that you're doing so and instagramming a photo of it onto fucking pinterest.
Work was utterly hectic so I took five minutes away from the desk to do a crap, but I have Obsessive Computing Disorder so before I knew it I was getting my phone out for a quick game of turds with friends
by jwgrooves October 24, 2013
Get the Obsessive Computing Disorder mug.The practise, usually employed by sexually insecure males around men they suspect may be homosexual, of firmly establishing their heterosexuality even before it was called into question.
Dale: Nice hat, John.
John: Yeah, thanks, my wife bought it for me. She's a girl. With tits and everything. Mmmm, tits.
Dale: No need for the preemptive gay strike, dude. You're so not my type.
John: Hmph.
John: Yeah, thanks, my wife bought it for me. She's a girl. With tits and everything. Mmmm, tits.
Dale: No need for the preemptive gay strike, dude. You're so not my type.
John: Hmph.
by jwgrooves August 17, 2010
Get the preemptive gay strike mug.