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11 definitions by jwgrooves

When using predictive text to write an SMS, sometimes an unexpected word of similar / humorous meaning may pop up.

Pint / shot / riot

Kiss / lips

Shag / rich

Sips / piss

Cock / anal

Dual / fuck
Oh no! I meant to send my boyfriend a text saying I wanted to suck his cock tonight.

Don't worry, it's just a textonym. Besides, I heard he's into that sort of thing.
by jwgrooves June 27, 2011
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After you've scraped the snow from the windscreen and windows, the neat patch of snow left on the roof of your car.
My car looks wicked, all blinged up with snow chains and a crucial snofro.
by jwgrooves December 19, 2010
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When you go for a poo but forget to take your phone with you. Devoid of the stimuli of checking emails and social media you're obliged to spend a few minutes on analogue pursuits, such as thinking, meditating, singing, or perhaps reading a book or newspaper.
I'd already started to let one out when I realised my phone was on my desk, so I had to do an analogue poo. But that's ok, I came up with a great plan for the next book I'm never going to write.
by jwgrooves June 13, 2017
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1 - having a harmful effect, eg to health

2 - the panicky paranoid state of mind which inspires one to go through old emails, texts, etc, deleting anything which may be vaguely incriminating
I found my girlfriend going through my phone, but it's ok cos I got a bit deleterious last week and wiped those drunk text messages to my ex from my outbox
by jwgrooves September 5, 2010
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The practise, usually employed by sexually insecure males around men they suspect may be homosexual, of firmly establishing their heterosexuality even before it was called into question.
Dale: Nice hat, John.

John: Yeah, thanks, my wife bought it for me. She's a girl. With tits and everything. Mmmm, tits.

Dale: No need for the preemptive gay strike, dude. You're so not my type.

John: Hmph.
by jwgrooves August 17, 2010
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A state of the art, compact, portable electronic device with an LCD display, capable of carrying out complex mathematical calculations.

A calculator.
What's the area of a circle with a 5cm radius? Dammit, why didn't I upload the pi-calculator app to my ipod 5 GTi?

Don't worry, we can check the answer on my Pi-Pod.

*blows dust off calculator*
by jwgrooves January 4, 2012
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Psychological / neurological condition.

The inability to pass a single moment without interacting with a computer screen of some sort.

The inability to pause and relax and actually think about nothing, without feeling the overwhelming need to fill your consciousness with the inane drivel that your extended circle of "friends" post on their social media.

The inability to interact with real people in a social situation without fucking tweeting that you're doing so and instagramming a photo of it onto fucking pinterest.
Work was utterly hectic so I took five minutes away from the desk to do a crap, but I have Obsessive Computing Disorder so before I knew it I was getting my phone out for a quick game of turds with friends
by jwgrooves October 24, 2013
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