Kedgemund 

kedgemund
{kej-mund}

noun

A juvenile newt with a propensity to gab incessantly without direction, often offering up circuitous haverings.

Their fair-to-middling potential for potency is hugely dependent upon the constant rebuking and leadership qualities of the Hooded Pitta, or any other recognised totem of modernity - customarily the natural aristocracy.

Representatives of the natural aristocracy will oftentimes be found assuming the burden of anchoring themselves to a set point and hauling the kedgemund; the unadorned student; to shore. As a result, such men have been referenced in countless publications as "an elixir for the masses", although they have continually distanced themselves from such lavish praise.

The origin of the word is thought to be that of the Glasgow shipbuilding industry.

I strongly suggest that his insouciance and total lack of purpose is a direct consequence of being a kedgemund. I pity such a character but feel a mighty sense of responsibility to be his First Responder. There is hope for him yet, I see a future for him as a real man."

Kedgemund by Kennet Muammar Wilburstraub May 15, 2020