Jesus Can 

a game played by kicking and hitting a can in a curcle until
it is so smashed it cuts your hands.

Look at those dudes playin Jesus Can over there.

Jesus Can by McCofferton III December 7, 2010

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land 

I stole this from Bo burnham

Bo burnham: I’m so hashtag deep
Me: what a lit song

Bo: if Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
Me: imma steal that and post it on urban dictionary

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land by Karen Chungus February 7, 2019

Can I get a Slap of Grease in the name of jesus? 

Give me some food. Usually one says this when they're waiting on line for lunch.

I was on a line in the mess hall at rikers and an inmate standing a few feet from me said "can I get a slap of grease in the name of jesus?".

Can I get a Slap of Grease in the name of jesus? by metaphoricals June 14, 2010

Jesus cant spell 

A fat lard mexican headass that cant spell and shoves shit up uis ass

Me:Yo jesus cant spell , you're a faggot
Jesus cant spell: goddamnit

Jesus cant spell by Asscheecks January 14, 2019

pickled Jesus candles

Those tall jar candles with the bizarre, often gruesome, Catholic iconography on the outside of the jar. Usually found at Mexican markets, religious gift stores, and the ethnic food section at the supermarket.

Shop 'n' Rob in Bay Point has a great selection of pickled Jesus candles.

No, I'm not Catholic, I just like pickled Jesus candles.

pickled Jesus candles by Dr. Badwrench July 12, 2007

guns and Jesus candidate

An increasingly popular phrase used to describe Mike Pence who has now thrown his asshat into the ring.

It is as yet unclear whether or not Mr Pence has fully embraced the phrase, ‘guns and Jesus candidate,’ but he does admit that he feels it has a clever ring to it.

guns and Jesus candidate by Dr Bunnygirl June 7, 2023

Jesus Canastuj

The realest mf. HE OWNS THE STREETS YA HEARD. PREACH FOR THIS GUY CUZ HE A PIMP AMEN.

Jesus Canastuj be balling wit money

Jesus Canastuj by Chuyy101 November 23, 2021