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Dick so good that it heals all of your ailments
Girl: I thought you weren't going out tonight because you had a headache

Friend: I wasn't but then I hit up Ryan... He got that Jesus dick
by Dagger23 March 02, 2014
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2
An exclamation or interjection of anguish, usually that which is caused by another person's idiocy. Mainly used on its own, not as part of another sentence.
Primo - "I can't get the toilet to stop running and can't find the plug to unplug it."

Secundo - "Jesus dick, why are you so stupid!"
by Billis Tedward September 11, 2011
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3
Getting an erection after busting, and your penis "died" but rises again.
"Man, I had already came twice, but I looked at that booty again and got Jesus dick."
by TheLittleEngine October 28, 2015
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4
Fuckin rad as hell, like funyons when you're drunk. Also, the way that cat from Ali Baba's pronounces cheese sticks. Real fuckin tasty by the way.
The new Die Hard movie is seriously Jesus Dick.
by MC Plan B August 29, 2007
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